Last week Mandy had tonsillitis. In the course of that visit, I learned that she weighs 1 1/2 pounds LESS than she did at 18 months, and she has gone from the 95th percentile for height down to less than 50th percentile. The good news that came from that information is that I finally have her doctor's attention. I've been worrying about her eating habits for over a year now, knowing that she didn't have enough variety in her diet and knowing that her siblings were both beyond picky eaters. These growth numbers, along with the fact that she's cut out a lot of her fruits, have motivated her doctor to get her some help. He spoke to her gastroenterologist, who wants to check her out. Apparently kids like Mandy can have underlying food allergies that damage their esophagus. And there has been talk of utilizing an occupational therapist to help Mandy accept different textures and flavors of foods. Either way, I'm very glad to have her medical community's attention and hopeful, for the first time ever, that we can manage this.
I'm also really glad I've handled her feeding the way I have. So much of parenting is judgment calls - having to go with your gut feelings outside of any concrete data. The constant, and I do mean constant, advice from other mothers is to put food in front of her and she either eats it or doesn't, even if that means sending her to bed hungry. I can't dispute the logic, but neither can I fully explain why I knew that was the wrong course to take with her. I think, because she didn't seem that stubborn in other areas of life, that I just didn't consider it a behavioral issue. There were times when I would wait an hour or two to give her time to try something, and it just felt very wrong to have a child so hungry she was melting down, and not feed her. So I always did. As concerning as her growth numbers are, it's comforting to know that I didn't cause them by refusing her the food she wants in an effort to get her to eat something else.
On the flip side, the constant, and I do mean constant, advice I received from the books & medical community was to keep offering her new foods, don't worry & she'll probably outgrow it. This seemed just as wrong to me. Not only will Mandy not try a new food - EVER - we lose an accepted food every few months. She used to eat every fruit except pineapple. We're now down to applesauce & bananas. She used to eat taco meat, meatloaf, and grilled chicken. We're down to less than 10 foods now & I just rotate them as best I can. The other reason I couldn't relax and wait for her to outgrow it, is her siblings never did. When they left my house, neither of them ate a single food they didn't eat when they came to my house. Although, my step-son has since improved his diet greatly.
While I'm thrilled to be on the cusp of getting the help I've wanted for so long, I'm also concerned about the expense of it. I still have not managed to find a job. I do have an interview today that I'm hopeful about. But the last year has brought numerous hopeful situations that have all been dashed. Frankly, I'm tired of hoping. I don't have the emotional energy to hope anymore.
One good thing that has come out of our dire financial straits is me stumbling on "extreme couponing." This has been a lot of fun for me, and it's helped tremendously. I have never really used coupons before. It seemed like nickel & dime business to me, not something that would really have an impact on my monthly budget. Now, I'm shaking my head that I didn't figure it out years ago - it's just common sense. You buy the products at their lowest price & use a coupon. That's all there is to it. I would go to the grocery stores every now & then and I always noticed their buy-one-get-one-free sales, but I still somehow thought I was coming out ahead sticking to Walmart and their "every day low prices." I laugh at those commercials now. How can nothing ever going on sale be smarter than stores that offer half-price specials each & every week? Part of the process is stocking up when the product is at it's lowest price. I think it's a result of our finances being so frightening for so long, but it feels really good to be well stocked on each and every thing we could possibly need. And no, I'm not turning into a hoarder. I don't have cans of vegetables under my bed! But I do have a really full pantry, freezer, and linen closet. And I like it that way.